Chapter 6: Having mix emotions and feelings

Rani

I'm in my room, alone with my thoughts. Why didn't Rudra tell me that he's engaged to that b***h, Raiden. I know I only met her today but I can tell you this that I can't stand the women. Something about her just unsettling. I can't put my finger on it. What's really the problem is that I'm feeling hurt, actually scratch that not hurt but f*****g pissed. That bastard. Oh really want to ring his neck for keeping me from this. I know I don't have the right to be upset, I mean there's no reason to. He is his own man and could whatever he likes but no my heart can't help but feel betrayed.

I'm not that kind of girl who get jealous and I know that every girl and women wants him and would happy to be with him. I can see why, he's handsome, excellent warrior, tall and muscular but more importantly he has power and they want that power he possessive. I mean everyone once it but not me. I don't want power, that too much responsibility. I would like a simple life with no worries. To be honest I can see the appeal to him, I'm not blind but he got awful personality. His rude, stubborn, moody, grumpy, sociopath, cruel of a man and doesn't care about anyone. I mean for goddess sake he torture people for fun most of the time. However, women still wants him which makes no sense to me and yet I can help but care for him. How funked up I must be to care such of man like him. A heartless beast.

I hate feeling like this. I want to cry; not just because I'm sad oh no, I'm furious. I want to lash out, break everything in my sight. It feels like the room is closing in on me; my chest hurts. My breathing is shallow and my skin starting to burn. So I went to the bathroom and went to the sink to splash water on my face to cool down. When I look at my reflection in the mirror, my eyes turned black. No no no no, this can't be happening. I need to control of my emotions before I cause any harm to people. I can't let my demon side take over, not like before. Over the years I could control them (yes them cause they don't have a gender) but recently they wanted to take over and there so much I can handle.

Furthermore, I can't risk people finding out. Goddess knows what people do to me especially the queen if she finds out and I don't want to know. Mostly likely she will enjoy my suffering. Now to think about I don't know what Rudra would do to me if he finds out. I smashed the mirror cause I don't want see myself, a monster. That what people think of me, a curse monster who has no one to love. It feels lonely. I need to run and get some fresh air, that might help. I ran out the bathroom and climbed out of my bedroom window but not before I left a note for Rudra if he came to my room. I jumped out and I ran into the woods so that I can clear my head. Maybe also hunt so I can release my frustration and to feed. Hopefully when I come back I'll feel a lot better.

Rudra

I'm standing here, staring at my parents. Feeling angry I would say that be understatement. Oh I never felt how I want to strangle them so badly. I didn't wanted Rani to find out like this but I was impressed or should I dared to say proud of her for the mark she left on Raiden. That's my girl. However, I didn't wanted her to know about the engagement situation; I was figuring out how to get out of the engagement because I don't want to marry Raiden. I can't stand the woman. Everybody think she wonderful and beautiful but I don't see it. I find her repulsive to be honest but no my parents force me to sign a contract but any contract, a blood oath contract. I have to marry her when she turns 21 and when I become king and produce an heir for me; also I can't cause her any physical harm to her, if I do then I'll be extreme pain. The only way that I can get out of it if we have a war with other packs or she dies. I pray that she does. I really can't that women.

"Why did you do that?" I growled.

"She was going to find out sooner or later" my mother said like it was nothing.

"Anyway you sign a blood oath so there's no way of getting out of it" my mother stated. I roared which made Raiden and her parents flitch but my parents doesn't seem to bothered. They are use to my out burst. Before I left though i wanted to say my piece

"Your lucky that Rani only slapped you. She could do much worse with you and I mean much worse " I stated and stormed out of the study and went straight to Rani's room which is the same floor as me, I wanted her close to me so she be there for my becking call.

However, when I got to her room, she wasn't there. I checked the bathroom, still she wasn't there. Runing my fingers through my hair with frustration. For goddess sake I told go to her room, where's blood hell is she. I hope she doesn't cause anymore trouble. I sat the edge of the bed putting my head in my hands. I looked up and noticed a note on the side table. Rani must of put it there for me. I picked it up the note and read it.

Dear Rudra,

I need some air so I went out to the woods to run and hunt to clear my head. Today been too much for. Be back later .

Rani

Stupid girl, she knows it's dangerous to go into the woods alone and it's getting dark. I roared making the building shake. I'm furious. This is not how I wanted to go. I need to find her and explain everything but I don't think she'll listen, she's a stubborn girl. I rushed out of the bedroom and head out to the woods. I shifted to my wolf and headed off. Searching for Rani, trying to find her sense. I know it's my fault that she run off but she shouldn't be out here on her own. There's rogues and wild animals, she could get hurt. How did I become soft? I don't do soft. I won battles, kill rogues and torture people for the heck of it but no, this girl make me soft and that makes me weak. I'm not weak and I don't do weak. I don't even know why I care so much. I don't like what she doing to me.

Additional, I didn't like the way Raiden's parents talked to Rani and my own mother looked like she wanted to murder her; she mostly she would if my father intervene. That's where my instinct kicked in and wanted to protect her, even if I had to fight my own mother. I had wanted to skin Raiden's father alive and rip him limb to limb and let the wold animals have him so that he wouldn't lay a hand on her. I don't know why I need to protect her but I feel like I have too. My wolf is over protective of Rani and so is my dragon. He was desperately wanted to defend her but can't. I can't shift into my dragon until my birthday, that's when I get even stronger.

I'm speeding through the woods, avoiding the branches and rocks. I picked up her sense, apple wood and cinnamon, she's close. However, I smelt blood and I started to panic; so I rushed towards her and when I finally got to her, I was shocked and amazed. She was fighting off rogues. Most of them were ripped to shreds, blood everywhere and on her. She was fighting two rogues. One of them lounge at her and try to go for her neck but before they could, she caught them by their neck and through them down on the ground and smashing their heads in the process. The other rogue was shocked and a bit hesitant but before they could even react, Rani grab the dead rogue and use their body to swing at them so hard that I heard bones brake. The wolf whined, trying to get up but they were in too much pain. Rani went up to them and with one hand she lift them up and snapped their neck; she dropped them on the ground.

She was breathing heavily. She turned round, finally noticing me looking shocked, guilty and scared. This is the first time she looked scared and that's not like her. When I saw her she doesn't look like Rani I know. Her eyes were pitch black, like just pure black with no emotion in them, her canines were out, dripping with blood and her face was sharp, not her soft face that I know. I was going up to until I noticed one rogue was behind her, ready to attack. Without a second thought, I leap over her and bounce on them. They were struggling to get out of my hold while I pin them down. Having to patience to play around I chomped on the neck so hard that their head can off. Once the rogue was dead, I turned back to Rani and then when she turned back to her normal self. Rani was shaking and she was avoiding eye contact with me. I knew what she was thinking and I won't allow it. She was about to bolt until I growled at her.

"Stay put. Don't you dare move" I mind linked her. Surprisingly she didn't argued or even a snarky remark. She just nod to my camand, she didn't even put up a fight. For some reason I didn't like it. I mean I alway stelling her to listen and not talk back so why do I miss her feisty attitude. Ugh I hate feeling this way. Her head was down and her shoulders was slumped, she looked defeated. I walked towards her and I lowered myself down so she could climb on me. She looked at me, knowing what I wanted and she climbed on. Once she got herself in adjusted, she rap her arms around my neck then I ran back to the pack house.

When we got to the pack house, I lowered myself so that she can get off. Once she was off me, I shifted with my clothes still intact. The benefits of having royal blood. Rani was only took two steps when I picked her up bridleway. She squealed but didn't have any reaction. She didn't even struggle or trying to let go of my hold. I went to her room and I put her on the bed. I went to her bathroom and ran a bath. I put in honey and lemon bath salts. While the bath was running, I went back to the bedroom and saw that Rani hasn't moved her spot. She didn't even looked up to looked at me. To be honest, she seemed lost in thought. I signed. I walked towards her and striped off her clothes which she was surprised for a moment but she didn't say anything though. That annoyed me cause I thought she would protest or snap at me at least to show some emotions but I got nothing; so I finished taking her blooded clothes and put it in hamper. I carried her to the bathroom and put on the counter. I went to the bath and turned off the tap then I went back to Rani and put her in the tub. I started washing her, scrubbing off the blood and dirt on her skin; after that I washed her hair a few times to make sure that there isn't any dirt and blood left. Once I finished all of that, I wrapped her in a towel and dried her off then once that done I set her on the bed and I went to the closet to get her night gown. I put on her then carried her to bed. I tucked her in and then I left her to rest without saying a word.

I never done that before, caring for someone, ever. However, I wanted to for her. I wanted to take care of her. Why the goddess I became soft. I don't do soft. I need to get rid of this kind of emotions. I had a thought in my head and decided to find that f**k of omega servant who disrespected Rani so that I can have let all my rage and frustration on her and also to show not disrespect Rani ever again. Making sure she'll never forget to do it again. A little torture we help me remind myself who I'm really am. A heartless, sociopath monster that I know I am. That would lift up my mood. Well that is what I'm telling myself.