Our pain

Ariel….

I held my breath as I scrubbed at a stubborn stain on the floor, letting the sound of my rag moving in circles cover the low snickers behind me.

“She thinks she’s still important, doesn’t she?” I heard one of the maids whisper with a sneer. “Just look at her, scrubbing the floors like the rest of us.”

I kept my eyes down, focusing on the floor as though it were the most interesting thing in the world. But I could feel my heart pounding in my chest.

“Oh, don’t be so harsh,” another chimed in. “At least Ariel here had the sense to fall for someone powerful.” She giggled, and her laughter was mirrored by the others.

I knew where this was going, but I ignored them, refusing to give them the satisfaction of looking up.

“But I mean, really, did you think Alpha Daniel would pick you over your beautiful stepsister?” the first maid asked, her voice dripping with fake sympathy. “Lyra’s the most beautiful girl in the pack… You’re just, well, you.”

Their laughter filled the air, sharp and cold. I bit the inside of my cheeks, tasting the metallic tang of blood, but I didn’t say a word.

Not that it mattered.

They’d have something to say no matter what I did. I could feel my wolf stir inside me, a deep, quiet sadness washing over us both. It's been close to three months since I started working as a maid in the packhouse, and the torments get worse with each passing day.

“Don’t let them get to you. They’re not worth it,” a soft voice whispered from behind me.

I glanced up, surprised, meeting the eyes of a maid I hadn’t noticed before. She gave me a small smile, and for a brief moment, I felt a warmth that I hadn’t felt in a long time.

But old habits die hard, and trusting others wasn’t something I knew how to do anymore. I gave her a curt nod, then returned to my work without a word.

The hours stretched out slowly, each task feeling like a mountain to climb. My hands ached, and my shoulders were sore, but finally, it was time to clean the library, the last and largest room of the day. I walked down the quiet halls, my footsteps muffled against the plush carpet

Reaching the door, I hesitated, knocking quietly just in case anyone was inside. There was no answer, only silence that filled the air like dust. I shrugged and pushed open the door, letting myself in.

The familiar scent of old paper greeted me, and I felt a little of the day’s tension ease away. The library had always been a sort of haven, a place where I could lose myself in the smell of books. With a deep breath, I started to work, wiping down the polished surfaces and dusting the shelves.

I had only just begun when I heard a low murmur, voices drifting in from somewhere near the back. I paused, frowning. The library was mostly empty at this hour; who else would be there

Curiosity got the better of me, and I moved slowly towards the sound, moving towards the source of the voices, on getting close, I prepped myself against the edge of the bookshelf as I strained to see.

And there they were…

Daniel, standing close to Lyra, his hands tangled in her hair, his mouth moving against hers with eagerness, like he was starving and she was his favorite meal.

My breath caught in my throat, a harsh, burning sensation rising in my chest as I watched them together.

“No,” I whispered, so quietly I could barely hear myself. I clutched the bookshelf for support, feeling as though the floor had been ripped out from under me.

Even though Daniel had rejected me and broken our bond, I still felt hurt seeing him with Lyra, my stepsister

The anger, the hurt…it all mixed, swirling in my chest until I could barely breathe. Every part of me screamed to look away, but I couldn’t. I just stood there, watching them, the sting of pain searing through me like fire.

Lyra pulled away from Daniel for a moment, her fingers lingering on his cheek as she smiled up at him. The look in his eyes was soft, so different from the way he looked at me.

The sound of my heartbeat filled my ears, drowning out everything else, and I barely registered the way my vision blurred, hot tears slipping down my cheeks.

I took a shaky breath, trying to hold it together. “Stop,” I whispered, as if saying it aloud would make the hurt go away. But it didn’t. Instead, the pain only grew sharper, cutting into me with every breath.

I turned away, forcing myself to move, my feet heavy as I walked back to where I’d left my cleaning supplies. I grabbed them with shaking hands, desperate to get out of that room, to leave behind the sight of them together, but as I held the door handle, Lyra’s voice caught up with me.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t the disgraceful daughter,” she snickered, her voice dripping with contempt. “Didn’t anyone ever tell you it’s rude to spy on people?”

“Look, Lyra, I don’t have the time—“ I tried to defend myself but was cut short by Daniel’s words.

“Of course, you don’t have the time; you’re a maid, and you should be busy cleaning stables or something.”

“The stables, this one?” Lyra quickly joined him, pointing at me. “What can this pig do at the stables? I’m sure she’d faint before she gets any work done.”

They both burst into a fit of laughter. I felt the sting of their words, each one like a slap, but I forced myself to stay silent, clenching my fists as I struggled to hold back tears.

“Get out, you slave.” Lyra snapped her fingers when I hadn’t said anything else.

I swallowed hard and made my way for the door, after taking one last glance at Daniel, who stared at me like I was every awful thing they described me and much worse.

Back in the hallway, I let out a shaky breath, pressing myself against the wall. I closed my eyes, leaning my head back against the wall, feeling the cold stone press against me as though trying to ground me, to keep me from falling apart completely. I wasn’t sure if it helped, but it was all I had.

After what felt like an eternity, I opened my eyes, letting out a long, shaky breath. And that was when I made the decision; to run away.

*****

Later that night, I decided I couldn’t stay here anymore, not with Daniel and Lyra’s engagement coming closer every day, not after everyone I loved had turned their backs on me.

It felt like I was drowning like every moment in this place made it harder to breathe. I could hear the whispers, the mocking laughter, and see the way my family, the people I had trusted, looked at me like I was an abomination, someone they barely tolerated.

If I stayed until their engagement and watched them live as mates, I was certain I might break into pieces.

“You don’t have to do this,” my wolf, Adira, whispered lonely in my mind as I snuck out of the pack house.

“I do, Adira,” I replied. “I can’t stay here. Not after… everything.”

Adira let out a small, sad whine. “I know you’re hurting. I feel it too. But leaving… are you sure?”

I took a deep, shaky breath, trying to push down the pain that was clawing up my throat. “Aren’t you hurt too, Adira? Doesn’t it hurt to see our mate betray us, to be with her instead?”

There was silence for a moment, and I felt Adira’s sadness like a weight pressing down on me. Finally, she answered. “Yes, Ariel. It hurts. It hurts more than I can even say. But… leaving is not the answer. We still have a place here.”

“I can’t stay here and watch them together, Adira. I can’t be trapped in this pain every day.”

She didn’t respond, and that silence only made my resolve stronger. I took a final, deep breath, feeling the pain and the anger merge, fueling me.

Then, in a heartbeat, I shifted, my body flowing into my wolf form as my paws hit the ground. And without waiting, I dashed out, away from the pack house, letting the wind rush through my fur as I ran.

“Ariel, please,” Adira’s voice echoed in my mind.

I ignored her, pushing myself to run faster. The trees blurred past me, the night air cold against my face.

But Adira’s voice wouldn’t stop. “Turn back, Ariel. We don’t belong out here. We belong in our pack.”

“No, Adira,” I argued, refusing to slow down. “They turned their backs on us. They left us first. Why should we stay somewhere we’re not wanted?”

Adira sighed. “Because it’s where we’re meant to be. I can feel it, Ariel. Our destiny is there.”

I ignored her words, focusing on the ground ahead of me, on the leaves crunching under my paws as I ran. I didn’t want to listen to her. I didn’t want to feel this pain any longer. But after a while, I felt the burn in my legs, the ache that spread through my body. Reluctantly, I slowed down, shifting back to my human form to catch my breath.

For a moment, I felt a strange satisfaction, I’d finally put some distance between myself and the pack house. But as I looked closer, I realized I was right back where I’d started.

“What?” I clamored, frustrated. I turned in a slow circle, looking for any sign that I’d left, that I’d covered any ground. But it was useless. Somehow, I was right back at the beginning.

I felt a rush of anger and despair, and I reached for Adira in my mind.

“Why, Adira? Why did you bring us back here? Are you punishing me? Punishing us?” My voice was strained at the last sentence.

“No, Ariel. I would never punish you. But our destiny… lies in this packed house. We’re meant to be here for now, no matter how much it hurts right now.”

I let out a shaky breath, feeling the frustration and sadness bubble up inside me.

“But how can we stay, Adira? How can we when everything here feels wrong?”

“I don’t have all the answers, Ariel. But I know this: if we stay, things will change. I can feel it. Our pain won’t last forever.”

I wanted to argue, to tell her she was wrong, but I was too tired to say anything. Instead, I manageably got to my room and fell on the tiny foam in the guise of a bed. I shut my eyes as I felt myself losing consciousness.