Violated In Every Way

TRIGGER WARNING: s****l VIOLENCE

I start pushing him away from me before I even manage to pull myself together. Sheer panic is what overtakes me, and I struggle to wriggle myself out of the trap that he put me in. He doesn’t have to use much strength to hold me in place, because he’s much bigger and stronger than I am.

I’m so panicky that I can’t use my voice at all, no matter how hard I want to. There’s people out there, on the hallway, come on Perrie, scream! Save yourself! Before it’s too late!

I open and close my mouth like a fish, while the guy clearly finds this whole thing amusing. He grabs me by the neck from the front, then lowers his head to touch the exposed skin of my shoulders with his lips.

I shudder in disgust, feeling even more panicked now that I can’t seem to breathe, no matter how hard I try. I start breathing like I’m dying. I feel that way too. Every breath, every movement is a struggle.

The guy holds me in an iron grasp, not letting me any space to move or even breathe. Finally, my voice starts coming back as I decide that this is not how tonight is going to go. Not if I have anything to say about it.

“Let … Me … Go,” I struggle to say, but I get the words out anyway. He meets my gaze in the mirror, smirking in response. It makes shivers run down my spine. I don’t think I’ve ever been this terrified in my whole life. I use his attention shifting to my advantage.

Or at least I try to. I want to stomp my heel on one of his feet, as hard as I can. I’ve read one time that this breaks someone’s foot and they can’t run after you. But as I do that, I use to little momentum, because I hit my knee against the sink.

I barely do him any harm. He looks down in surprise, looking like he’s wondering what I’m trying to do. Great I can still try something else. I elbow him to the face, or at least that’s where I aim.

The blow lands on his forehead, making him release the grip on me. I don’t wait around, I use the chance to try to run away, but my legs feel like jelly. And when I get to the door, I realize it’s jammed from the outside. How … How did he do that? No …

Fear makes me freeze again, and before my mind is able to use its reason, the guy already pulls himself together and comes after me again. I turn around just as he lunges at me, looking quite pissed right now.

“Oh, so you want it rough, huh? You’ll get rough,” he says, his sinister voice sounding like a promise. I start shaking my head frantically, everything around me starting to spin as he pushes me against the door so hard, that I hit the back of my head against the wood.

He starts pulling the hem of my dress up, his hands roaming straight between my legs. All the alarms that have been going off inside my head finally manage to hit home. And my voice comes back in that second. I’m not letting him violate me.

I start fighting back. I try pushing him away, as I scream out: “HELP ME! HELP!” He covers my mouth the second I start yelling, trying to keep my quiet. He’s already unzipped his pants, but I’m not willing to acknowledge that.

I try to kick him between his legs, but he’s standing too close, pressing me against the door. I can feel the weight of his body on me and it’s suffocating me. I feel like I’m going to die. No. Perrie, you won’t go down like this!

I use all my anger and fear to bite into his hand, as hard as I can. I manage to taste blood inside my mouth a moment later and he moves it away from my face, his face a grimace of pain. “HELP HE’S TRYING TO r**e ME!” I scream out again, this time even more loudly than before.

Finally, I can hear voice from outside, while he slaps me, making my head turn to the side with the force. I let out another pained scream, praying to someone up there to make someone run down the hallway and save me.

He tries to snake his arms around me again, turning my back against him, so I can’t fight him. I still use everything I have to try to hit him, kick him, scratch him, bite him, I don’t care as long as I manage to stop him.

“HELP ME!” I scream out again. This time, he’s not even trying to silence me, like he knows no one’s going to come. It makes a feeling of hopelessness wash over me, before the voices outside get louder.

“WHO’S IN THERE?!” I suddenly hear someone yell from the other side, and to my relief, it’s a familiar voice. That’s … That’s Benji. I’d recognize that accent anywhere! I’m so grateful that he can’t hide it right now!

“BENJI! HELP!” I yell out again, trying to save myself, but the guy is already exposing my legs, managing to tear the dress so it’s not blocking his access. Oh my God, this can’t be happening to me!

“PERRIE?! THE DOOR WON’T BUDGE!” I hear his voice again, making me cry out in panic. I barely have the strength to keep fighting the guy, who’s already pulling his thing out of his boxers, while I’m desperately trying to get away from him. But his grip around me is too strong! “I’M COMING IN, GET AWAY FROM THE DOOR!” Benji yells in the next moment, while I finally manage to do something that works.

As I feel his thing poking around between my legs, I do something as a last resort. I lower my head on my chest, before moving it backwards as fast as I can. The moment I hit the guy’s face, I hear a sickening crunch, but he finally moves his dirty hands away from me.

In the same moment, the door flies off the hinges, landing on the floor with a loud thud. As I notice the familiar face, staring at me, with another familiar face behind, I burst into tears. I stumble towards Hunter’s friends, so grateful that they were making out at this hallway.

“Oh my God, Perrie are you hurt?” Jessie gasps, covering her mouth with both her hands as she realizes what state I’m in. I shake my head and simply rush into arms, clinging onto her for dear life as I start sobbing.

Physically, I’m not hurt. At least not much. He didn’t manage to penetrate me at least. I’ll live through the bruises he left. But mentally … I can’t even begin to describe how I’m feeling right now. Like the world won’t ever be bright again. Like I’ll never be able to smile, to laugh again.

I can hear Benji yelling at the guy and I swear I can hear a few punches land, but I don’t want to look. “T-Take me away from here, p-please,” I beg Jessie, who nods in response immediately, her blue eyes glistening in a sympathetic way.

“It’s okay, sweetie, you’re safe. I won’t let anyone hurt you,” she assures me, making her remind me of my mom. It just makes me cry even harder. I can’t tell anyone about this. My family can’t know. If they do, I’ll never feel the same in their presence again. I’ll feel … Dirty. Impure. Ruined.

In that moment, Jessie stops. It takes me a moment to look up and check what we’re stopping for. As I lift my tear-eyed gaze from the ground, I freeze in spot. Because I meet a pair of bright green eyes that are glistening in the most worried way I’ve ever seen.

My lower lip trembles and I rush into his arms, unable to stop crying. “What the hell happened? I came looking for you, then I heard a bang …” he trails off, trying to get an answer out of me, but he can’t. So, Jessie answers instead, not even knowing what a gigantic mistake she’s making.

“Someone tried to have his way with her in the bathroom. Blocked the door and everything. Benji broke it down, I think he’s giving the guy what he deserves,” she informs him. Just like seeing a string being cut, Hunter’s nerves just snap.

He lets go off me in a nanosecond, making me turn around slowly and watch after him in despair, while he directs himself straight towards the fallen door. There’s an audience outside it that I didn’t even realize was there.

As I see Benji dragging the guy out by his collar, I freeze. No. Hunter is going to kill him. “Jessie!” I call out in despair, making her realize that something’s wrong. She glances towards her boyfriend just long enough to realize Hunter’s not in his right mind now.

“Benji, get Hunter back here!” she yells out so loudly, that all heads turn towards us. I stand there, barely keeping myself together, having my arms wrapped around myself in a protective way. I don’t want to face that guy ever again, I just want to leave. I want to go home and shower this disgusting feeling off my body. And never to have to look at that guy’s face again.

“I’m going to kill you, do you hear me?! You disgusting piece of s**t!!!” Hunter roars so loudly it makes me flinch. But Benji realizes that his friend is in a really dangerous mood right now. He barely manages to get ahold of him, but he impresses me as he actually manages to drag Hunter back towards us.

“…needs you! Pull yourself together and take her home! I’ll find Stavros and we’ll deal with this slimeball!” Benji assures him in a violent tone. I stand there, unable to stand anymore. I feel completely broken. As Hunter glances at me, all his defenses crumble.

He nods to his friend, then looks back at me and wraps his arms around me in a protective way. He holds my ripped skirt upwards, not letting it dangle behind me like some tragedy. “Thank you guys. Bye,” he tells them, then pulls me even closer. “Don’t worry, I’m getting you out of here,” he then murmurs to me.

His strong arms, the ones that usually make me feel safe, now terrify me. It’s not his fault. But I now know what they can do if they’re used by a different kind of mind. It makes me shiver in his embrace, out of fear. All that manages to achieve is have him pull me closer, while I try not to hurt him by moving away.

I start breathing heavily, making him realize that I’m not okay. He releases his grip on me a little, like he’s realizing that he’s suffocating me. I can’t relax at all. I keep looking over my shoulder, expecting to get attacked as we’re walking down the staircase.

Every time I glance back to where my feet are walking, I feel like more faces are staring at us. I’m probably just imagining it, but it makes me feel even more ashamed that this happened to me. I can’t believe that I’ve gotten myself into this situation. Why didn’t I tell Hunter to come with me?