Chapter 35

Why should I fear death?

If I am, then death is not.

If Death is, then I am not.

Why should I fear that

Which can only exist when I do not?

.

—Epicurus

.

MIKHAIL

The entire village gathers on the small hill which overlooks the river which, mysteriously, receded just as quickly as it rose. I stand at the periphery, watching the way they hold each other, weep and pray, and tell stories about the deceased. Even in death, a human is never alone.

Nobody hugs me. Nobody thinks to include me in the ceremonies. Nobody asks me to carry the food-blessing, participate in the prayers, or even help place the final stone. I am not included, as if they refuse to acknowledge that I grieve.

I bite back my tears and stare straight ahead at attention, refusing to move a muscle. Refusing to let t……