All Alone

Emory

I wake up sore in places I’ve never felt before, and it takes me a moment to remember why. I try not to even roll over because of the muscle pain I feel in my core. Blinking against the sun streaming in from between the splits in the curtains, I feel a pain that radiates from my forehead, where I’d crashed into Rainer the day before, through my skull, and out the other side. But that pain is nothing compared to the one I feel in my heart.

A groan escapes my lips as I note I can still smell him on the bedding. I can still smell him on me. I push my head beneath the pillows, wondering what time it is but simultaneously not caring. I want to go back to sleep and wake up three days ago when I still had some control over my life. I want to remember all of this so I can avoid making the s……