I am not the only child I have one sister three brothers my baby brother hes always been my favorite out of my siblings that's because he's always doing crazy stuff and making me laugh every day. I can't say that my child hood was great cause it really wasn't but it could've been better I am not gonna complain though. I know that my mom was in a abusive relationship with my biological father and he was a drug addict and a rapiest too. My sister had told me that my father used to molest her and my uncle did rape her too. I can't say that she's lying because I wasn't there plus I was a little girl. I can only say this cause when I was about 12years old my own birth father had molested me on October 23,1994 I won't ever forget that day it hunts me to this day although I'm a grown woman now but yet still suffering from things that had happened to me while I was a child. I am now suffering with severe depression and PTSD not only that I have a eye condition called keratocous. When I was younger I have always been a tomboy I never liked wearing dresses I would rather climb trees and play in dirt. I was always liking girls never understood why I was liking girls when I know that I was a girl and only supposed to been liking boys I didn't know what was wrong with me why was I having all these feelings for girls. I had never act on it though because I knew it wasn't right to be liking girls because at that time I would have been judged for wanting a girlfriend or even being gay.
Love is a temple love is ashamed while boys doing all the f*****g girls gets the blame f*****g and f*****g wanting more and more damn it never occurred to you that the rubber had tore he said that you were cute said you were fine but once you had told him that your pregnant he says it ain't mines 4hours of pleasure 9months of pain your looking like a dummy in the hospital with a baby name now you're so ashamed cause the daddy was a lame left you all alone looking so shame after one passionate night hours and hours of loving making he knocked you up without a care
I am really doing better these days I am doing online college for my Bachelor's Degree for criminal justice. It hasn't been easy not only that I am going to college online I am also working full time at sss it's a very fun place to work everyone is so helpful and friendly. Waking up getting ready for work has been my life right now although I am only working four days a week with three days off it's still very hard work I have to be at work in the morning and gets off later in the morning. I have my afternoons to just chilled out with my family but guess what I am doing sleeping for alot of hours until it's time for me to get ready for work. This life is totally different from what I am used to I was sitting on my ass collecting my social security check and getting bigger for not being active for a long time. My job is alot of labor standing bending lifting up heavy boxes this isn't a easy job it's blood sweat and tears that I am going through every day to make these coins. Not to mention my feet always hurting when I get home and try to relax them they still hurting constantly even on my days off but I grit my teeth and bare everything just so I could make this money to survive in this world today. I do hope that eventually I would have a house for me and my family to live happily ever after in and have memories to share with each other one day. I'm trying to make it happen and I am keeping my faith. Prayers help with everything and I have a strong support system behind me.
I feel like a new woman I decided to grow my hair not coloring it anymore embrace the grays grow my nails beginning of New journey on my health losing weight eating the right food keeping my mind straight and focusing on the goal and to become a successful black strong woman maybe become a wife one day I am a new woman my walk is different my mind is at ease overthinking driven stronger a warrior that is me I am a new woman there has been hurdles and obstacles that has came my way but I have become a supernatural hero in my mind I am that new woman sometimes it feels like a bomb is going to explode and my mind I'm just that strong I am a new woman every fear that I had to face I know I had to face it alone but I did it cuz I am a new woman to think of life of what I have went through seeing how to pass try to become a present but I overcome that cuz I am a new woman more focus stronger ambitious driven striving I am a new woman although my hair may be Gray I have a lot of wisdom and knowledge for every strain that I have in my head I am a new woman
I have been working on me and everything is taking a process with this life I lost my wife 3 years ago try to be in another relationship that didn't work out it's fine cuz I'm not about the l***q like no more I actually have a fiance our journey is taking some time and we're doing everything we possibly can to begin I like together I have been through so much but I'm still here and everything is going to be fine then it's just going to take time I have came out of my shell where I've been singing and talking to different people all over the globe on this app and I really been enjoying myself a develop a whole lot of friends or should I say associates that's interesting and listening to me and what I have to say the bonus is I'll be singing at first you can pay me to be singing for nobody I was very shy when I want the world to hear me I love it it's very therapeutic for me to be able to talk to people all over the globe and if they find me interesting I just want to be happy that's it and I know I can conquer and get through any trials and tribulation and obstacles that I have faced over the years now it's a new me y'all and I want to do me and make sure that I stay happy I keep a smile on my face everyday all day and it's not a pretend or a fake smile it's actually real but lately I have been going through a depression but I'm getting through it I stay prayed up and listen to God speak to me and I have a strong support system behind me and I know that at the end of this journey I'm going to come out on top and those that didn't believe we'll see for themselves that what I've been saying is true and my life is going to be great and I want to be happy in it I always know that I do have a purpose in life and it's to make myself happy and to help those that deserve my help I will not help nobody that don't deserve to be helped I will not look up on nobody that didn't look out for me when I was crawling and struggling I know that you find out who your friends are where you want to situation like this or when you've been homeless and didn't have nowhere to go but you living in this shelter with all these different people and different attitudes and people that's using all types of drugs and you have to be careful I went through that got through it now all I got to do is stay strong and just be patient and wait for my blessings to come through cuz I know that it's coming it is going to take some time and God got the last say and everything in life and everything that happens to us it's a reason why and if we can fix it fix it if we can't figure out a way to fix it but at the end of the day we got this and we can conquer anything that comes our way and I know I can and I will by all means necessary cuz I'm strong then I think I am I'm not weak thankful and grateful and so humble for everything I love you destiny saying I love myself cuz you got to love yourself before anybody else can love you thank you Jesus for everything I love me what can I say cuz God got everything waiting for me my blessings is coming I will not struggle no More after everything is done I will not be walking through darkness anymore it will be the light at the end of the tunnel and it's going to shine so bright that it's so damn your body which I already got up eye condition where I have to wear special contacts but who knows I might not need them no more just thinking that's all that I know I will always have is eye condition for the rest of my life and this is the way God wanted me to be I guess after sitting up and getting a LASIK surgery done to correct my vision which I should appreciate just wearing glasses and I wish I did cuz I used to love when my glasses it made me look more intelligent which I'm already intelligent black woman but hey it is what it is and I'm finally embracing my gray hair too at first please I used to color my hair cut my hair off now I have hair and already for a totally new look I want to get sister locks in my head and I'm not going to cut my hair no more I'm just going to let it grow I can't wait for all this to happen it's just a process for everything and I know it is but you know what I'm ready I'm willing and God got me as well as my strong support system behind me because what you see is what you get I got this in a bag through everything I have been through I still kind of going through I'm going to come out on top of everything cuz you know what I'm stronger I'm wiser I'm better much better I'm telling you this is my life no one else's nobody can tell my story but me because I've been the one living it I want nobody else telling my story but me because if anyone try to tell my story it would be a lie I want the world to hear me Sparkle Evelyn hit Conner hear me my words cuz it's the wrong truth no one else can tell my story cuz they have not lived my life I'm the only one living this life and that's the truth this is me all me flaws and all like it or not deal with her don't deal with it what you see
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